When Jesus heals, we must engage it and appropriate it. I learned this valuable lesson while riding down the interstate on a rainy Monday evening, while returning from a retreat.
As I talked and prayed with my travel-mates, Jesus brought healing to a deep hurt in my life. That hurt, and the lies I believed as a result of it, had been a source of pain and a hobbling fear throughout my life. As Jesus spoke His truth to me, I knew immediately that He had done a deep work in my heart. I could feel the ‘river of living water’ running through this part of my life where there had been a dam, blocking God’s grace. The stagnant, stenchy wastewater of bondage was was blown open and FREE!
I rested in that healing for a couple weeks, feeling the grace and freedom. But then, I heard Jesus say to me, “There are still rocks in the river.” I knew EXACTLY what he meant. No hiding behind a feigned “What Lord? I don’t understand.” That hurt, now healed, had accomplices that wanted to steal Jesus’ gift: broken behaviors, broken emotions, broken thoughts and broken beliefs- all of them, rocks in the river.
Jesus had blown open the dam, but there were still rocks in the river- the remnants of a previous life, previous beliefs, previous expectations, previous lies, previous vows. All of them, creating eddies, whirlpools and diversions to the River of Life.
So, I’m tossing rocks from the river. Tossing out the behaviors (and lack of them) that used to keep me frozen…silencing the voices of condemnation…living more boldly...relying more deeply on Jesus. Day by day, I’m applying my healing. I’m gaining confidence, faith actually. I woke up this morning, looking for the next rock to toss from the river. And everyday, the current of God’s healing grace runs a little stronger, a little truer, and a little sweeter.